Rice Field

After comforting Anika at 3am this morning and laying her back in her bed, I began to imagine the day that Jesus was born…. I wonder who was really there….. The Shepherds, the animals, maybe even the inn keeper but surely others were intrigued and had been invited to come along and check it out. What about the Shepherds’ friends or the inn keeper’s family?

I’d imagine there were others who came to say happy birthday to Jesus without knowing that he was their God.

We just hosted a Christmas Eve service in our home for NeiuCommunities, our families and our neighbors. It was an eclectic group of people all coming to honor Jesus on his Birthday. Some of us were devoted believers and followers of who Jesus is and what he does. Others were respecters of Jesus but not necessarily followers. Then there were those of us who are compelled by Jesus and are wrestling with who Jesus really was and is and are longing for more of him in our lives. Wherever we are in our spiritual journey, we all came together because of Jesus.

We came to see Jesus, we came to celebrate him, and we came to be together because him. I think that’s what Jesus wants. He came to us…..he keeps coming to us…. and he invites us to come to him.

This past Saturday I ran into some of my friends from the park as I walked through the Farmer’s Market in our neighborhood. One of the friends was Matt, my team mate with NieuCommunties, walking through with his two young boys. Matt and another park friend and I decided to browse the market for a bit longer and make our way to the 28th st Park.

I had a few great conversations at the park while my girls played in the sand and climbed trees. There was one conversation, however, that stood out above the rest.

Matt and I started talking with Joe who was there with is 21mo old son, Jon. The conversation quickly led to asking each other what we do for work. Joe told us that he works for an engineering company. We proceeded to explain NieuCommunities and that we’re both a part of an intentional community that studies and follows the life and teachings of Jesus and that we help to run an apprenticeship that forms leaders in the way of Jesus.

Joe seemed interested and asked, “So are you guys a form of ‘church’?”….. his question led us deep quick.

We found out that Joe grew up in a Christian home, was a youth pastor at one point but for the past 6 years has stopped believing and walked away from God. His wife is still “faithful and devout,” as Joe described her, and goes to church every week. He joins her fairly regularly but does not consider himself a Christian. Apparently his journey away from God started as he dug into scripture and found countless discrepancies between what the bible says and his own Christian experience. So he asked God to give him a supernatural experience of himself.

He’s still waiting

Just before we stared talking with Joe, our neighborhood friend Darren and his boys met us at the park as well. Darren is Jewish by heritage and has begun to follow the ways of Jesus as he’s walked closely with our community or the past two years. At one point, Matt, myself, Joe and Darren were all talking about Jesus and faith and the longings of our soul. It was beautiful.

As I stared gathering my stuff to leave, the thought entered my mind, “This is a Thin Place moment.” Thin Place is a term developed by Celtic Christians to describe an experience or a moment when the space between heavenly realities and the realities on earth is very thin. When life as God intended it to be is experienced here on earth.

I turned and saw Matt giving Joe his number, letting him know that he’d love to meet up for coffee to keep talking. I looked around and began to remember the countless spiritual conversations I’ve had at this park. Its remarkable. In fact, I think the space between heaven and earth is thinner at that park than most any other public place I frequent.

I began to pray that Joe would experience a touch of heaven in this moment.

As I walked away, pushing my little munchkins in the stroller, Joe’s wife pulled up. I knew it was her because Joe’s son, Jon ran up to give her a hug. As we passed, I introduced myself as a follower of Jesus, told her briefly about our conversation with Joe and that we’d be praying for her. Her eyes filled with tears and she thanked me.

I’m praying for eyes to see more Thin Places around me as I follow Jesus in my neighborhood.

Our friend and neighbor’s father passed away yesterday morning.

After a heart attack and days of surviving in critical condition, our friend’s dad began to show signs of improvement. The Dr’s were shocked to find that a part of his heart that was severely damaged had healed, making it possible to move forward with bypass surgery.

Our community had been praying. We sent facebook messages and mailed a card with words of encouragement and prayers, showing our love and support for this family. It seemed that God was healing this man and showing his faithfulness and power!

I began to wonder if God might be drawing these friends into deeper relationship with him through this act of healing.

And then, less that 24 hours after the positive reports from the Dr’s, our friend’s daddy died at the age of 53.

I’m still confused. WHY would God allow this? I know the answers I’ve been told my whole life about God’s bigger plan and how sometimes God saves people from suffering by allowing them to die or how we live in a broken world and there are things that happen not by God’s doing but because of our human limitations etc…. but in my heart, I just don’t get it.

I don’t know that I’ll ever fully get it.

When we saw our friends yesterday morning we embraced and cried together. I don’t know why God allows suffering and sadness and loss but I do know that God is with us. I know that God weeps with us as we live in this broken world. I know God longs to restore all things.

Our friends thanked us for being there for them. All I can do is hope that they experience the tangible presence of God Emmanuel, God with us, through the body of Christ here expressed through NieuCommunities. And may we be faithful to love them as Jesus would.

Saturday night was our first Roller Derby experience. Anytime you go to a new sporting event you realize that you’re stepping into a sub-culture of people with its social dynamics, both fascinating and a little quirky. This was no exception.

About half way through the evening I left my coat in the bathroom. When I went back to get it, the coat was gone. I asked a sweet Hispanic woman who was sweeping the floors if she had seen a jean jacket that was left in one of the stalls. Without using words the woman motioned for me to follow her to the trash can. Apparently she had hidden my coat at the bottom of the trash bin, underneath the plastic bag.

She seemed a little embarrassed when she handed me my coat, almost as if to apologize. I’m not sure what she intended to do with the coat but I was grateful to get it back. As I turned to walk back to my seat, putting the coat back on to stay warm, a “sense” or a “feeling” came over me that I can’t explain except to say that its familiar….and its something I’ve learned to listen to as a way that God communicates with me….

A couple of nights ago I pulled out a childhood book of mine to read to Naomi. The book is called, “The Boy Who Gave His Lunch Away,” and its an adaptation of the story in the Gospels of the boy who gave his bread and his fish to Jesus and Jesus miraculously multiplies it to feed thousands. The author of the book imagines what this boy’s family life might have been like to prompt him to give his lunch away like this. He describes the boy’s father as generous man of faith who teaches his son saying, “we eat what we need and we give the rest away…”

As I walked away from this sweet woman who cleaned the bathrooms and swept the floor I sensed that the coat I was wearing wasn’t mine to keep.

I turned back around, found the woman and handed her my coat saying, “I’d like to give you this coat.” She could have refused it…. and in that case, I probably would have kept it, but…. the woman looked me in the eyes and said in broken english, “for me?” I responded, “Yes. I’d like you to have it.” And she took it with a big smile on her face.

As NieuCommunities we’re studying 1 & 2 Peter, looking at what it means to be a Holy People, reflecting a Holy God. 1 Peter 4: 10 & 11 in The Message it says, “Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all can get in on it; if words, let it be God’s words, if help, let it be God’s hearty help. That way, God’s Bright Presence will be evident in everything through Jesus, and HE will get all the credit as the mighty one in everything…”

Our acts of generosity are an expression of God’s bright presence for the world!

I tell this story not to brag on how great I am that I gave my coat away (a coat that I actually liked, by the way ). There are plenty of opportunities for me to give my things away in my own neighborhood everyday. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. I tell this because I think I tasted the holiness of Jesus in an encounter with one of God’s beloved children at a roller derby event. And her smile was beautiful.

Jesus lived a Holy life on earth. He loved and served in perfection. But he didn’t stop for everyone. He couldn’t! He was God but he was also human. Jesus heard the voice of his father and he obeyed, knowing who to love and serve when.

A central part of holiness is listening to the voice of the Father.
……..
So I listened…. this time. God spoke to me and I obeyed…and I got to reflect the generous heart of my Father in heaven. Perhaps the most notable posture of a holy people is simply to listen to the father, obey and receive the gift of God’s bright presence, both for us and for those around us. What an honor.

Today I found another reason to love thrift stores. Shopping at thrift stores is not only a great way to discover treasures, to recycle, reuse and to save money but thrift stores are also great places to run into unexpected people.

Anika and I made a quick run to the down town Goodwill this afternoon. As I was pulling away, I saw in my rear view mirror two people with their thrift store purchases laid out on the curb. The woman was in a long black coat with a big brimmed colorful hat. The man was in a vest and sweat pants. They looked familiar. As I turned my head to get a better look, sure enough it was Tammy and James, my new friends from the winter shelter!

Tammy and James were guests at a 6 week homeless winter shelter in January and February at 1st Pres. church down town. I had the privilege of volunteering there from 6-10pm every wednesday, welcoming in 9 individuals who, for one reason or another, have been living on the streets. It was an honor to get to know the guests and
hear their stories. A couple weeks ago I got to sing Gospel hits with Tammy and James around the piano!

Anika and I got out of our car and walked over to where Tammy and James were apparently switching out old duffle bags for new ones that would hopefully put a little less stress on their shoulders as they carry the bags around city streets and on public transportation. We gave each other big hugs and Anika and I sat with them on the curb to hear the latest with their job search, Tammy’s financial aid to continue taking college courses and any update on an affordable housing situation for them .

I gave them a ride toward their storage unit but we spotted another thrift store on the way so they decided to have me drop them off there instead. James played with Anika in the back seat while Tammy and I caught up about how the transition out of the winter shelter and back to the streets has been for them. Last saturday was their last night at the winter shelter. They’ve slept the past 6 nights, nestled up outside against the church building. I had given them a copy of Derek’s CD which Tammy said she’d been listening to at night as she falls asleep. She told me how the words to the songs were a comfort to her.

What sweet moments those were. I think moments like these are from God; where he draws people together in an unexpected way nso he can show all of us his relational love. I want to be present and aware throughout my day so I can know God’s love through moments like these. I want to know people who are different from me so I can hear God through them. I want to love well as God brings people my way. This is how Jesus was and how he is today. He crosses borders and barriers and societal structures and cultures to love people.

Jesus through Tammy and James was just what I needed this afternoon.

by Christiana

Last night was my second Wednesday evening at the First Pres Winter Shelter. Its a wonderful conglomeration of people coming together to love on some new friends who live on the streets and to enjoy a home cooked meal together. There are 9 homeless folks who stay at the shelter and a hand full of us who join them to get to know them and make sure they’re cared for that evening.

One of the ladies there has particularly caught my attention. She’s in her 50’s, has lived on the streets for a while now and has a sweet child-like spirit about her. As we spoke last week, I listened to the stories of what she’d ventured into that day and enjoyed her animated way of describing the places she goes and people she hangs out with. She didn’t give me eye contact until about 10 minutes into the conversation when she turned her face toward me, looked straight into my eyes and said, “What about you? I want to know you too.”

I was a bit taken off guard by her kindness and her sudden interest in me. When she turned and looked me in the eyes, it was as if I was looking into the eyes of Jesus. And Jesus himself was saying to me, “I want to know you.”

I know it sounds a bit wacky but in that moment, I experienced the closeness of God in the humanity of Jesus through this beautiful homeless woman.

So last night I got to be with my new friend again. After dinner we sat with another guest at the shelter and for an hour and a half we discussed good and evil and the way God (and demons!) interact with our world. It was an intense conversation.

I think those of us who live most of our lives in middle class America are dangerously ignorant to the spiritual battle that wages around us. And we become powerless because we can’t see very well past our physical environment.

Derek and I and a handfull of folks from NieuCommunities attended a 2 day seminar this week led by Chuck Kraft. The seminar was on inner healing and deliverance, making us aware of the spiritual realities around us and equipping us to live into the spiritual authority we’ve been given by God through Jesus. Kraft said, “if the enemy can’t keep you ignorant, he’ll show you just enough to keep you afraid so that you won’t face the darkness and you’ll continue to live powerless lives in fear.”

Jesus is the light of the world and in him there is no darkness. The darkness is powerless when faced with the light of Jesus.

There was a moment in our conversation last night where another guest started talking about some dark dreams and visions he’d been having. The lady I’d been getting to know said, “When I was a little girl, my mom told me that all you have to do is speak the name of Jesus. Its amazing what can happen. You should try that.”

My eyes filled with tears as I sensed the invisible but tangible presence of Jesus with us in that moment.

As we left, my friend said she’s been reading in her new book called “The New International Version” :), some comforting words in a “chapter” called “Ephesians.” We’re going to talk about what she’s learning next week. I can’t wait.

Our friends at First Pres down town are running a winter shelter in their church for 9 homeless men and women. Each guest applied and were accepted to be a part of a 6 week family style shelter.

Rebecca and I have committed to spend time with the guests and help run the shelter every wednesday night from 6-10pm.

Last night we shared a home cooked meal with our new friends, got to hear their stories, played some cards and had a great time.

I think wednesday nights might become my favorite night of the week.

We start moving on January 29! Its an incredible big 3 bedroom home that we’ll share with Chaz and Rebecca. Amazing location in our neighborhood, great space for hosting our community and our neighbors.

Still feels like a dream.

We spotted the house when we first moved to Golden Hill a year and a half ago. It was in bad shape; broken down and seemed abandoned. We joked that it looked haunted.

About 6 months ago we noticed some construction going on at the house. “This could be beautiful!” We thought.

As the house began to transform with new windows and paint, our sister-in-law, Rebecca, tracked down the phone number for the property manager. She called and apparently they already had renters lined up to move in when it was finished.

We’ve been looking for a place to move to with Chaz and Rebecca for about 11 months now. The 4 of us have sensed God moving us to share a home as a part of the way we live out our followership of Jesus together in our nieghborhood.

Of all the houses we looked at and applied for, this house was our favorite.

A week ago, the property manager called Rebecca to let her know that their renters fell through and the owner wanted to meet us.

We applied and found out today that we’ve been accepted and can move in on February 1!!!

Over the past couple months we’ve passed by this house many times and prayed, asking God to make a way for us to live in it or somewhere like it. Its in a great location - right off one of the main streets through Golden Hill and right around the corner from another community house for NieuCommunities. It has a great layout - 3 bedrooms up stairs for us, the Chases and our girls. It has a huge downstairs and back outside area, great for hosting our community gatherings and friends from our neighborhood. It also has 2 apartments above the garages that are going to be renovated in the next couple months and could be potential homes for others in NieuCommunities.

The house is on a great street surrounded by smaller apartment buildings and houses with college students, young professionals and artists, latino families etc… Right across the street are two large drug and alcohol recovery homes. The residents of these homes are often pushed aside and sometimes abandoned in society because of the broken families they come from, destructive choices they’ve made and the stories of pain and unhealth they live.

The first Mark of New Monasticism says: “Relocate to Abandoned places of Empire.” Places that the world deems “unfit to live” followers of Christ can help “bring to life.” I’ve learned a lot from the values of New Monastic Communities. Moving close to recovery homes feels like a small yet signifiant move toward an abandoned place and people of our society. We pray that our presence, both in word and deed, would reflect the love and salvation of Jesus.

So….. we’re moving! Needless to say, we’re excited. What a wonderful Christmas gift.

Today I tried to host a post-thanksgiving meal for a friend. This friend is a neighbor of ours that we’ve been getting to know over the past year and a half. I found out she’d be alone on Thanksgiving and my heart ached. Since we couldn’t take her to LA with us, we asked our friend if we could have a thanksgiving meal with her after we returned home.

Our friend loved the idea and told us how much she likes cooking for people and that she wanted to contribute food. She would roast a chicken, cook up some green beans and make the stuffing - all food that she got from a food box I helped her pick up last week.

Just this morning I finished reading Untamed: reactivating a missional form of discipleship. I was deeply inspired as I was reminded of God’s heart for the marginalized in our societies and how a commitment to proximity in missional community, coupled with a commitment to proximity to the poor and broken can be a powerful expression of love.

Preparing for today’s post-thanksgiving meal was work, especially with two little girls at our feet, but I enjoyed it because I was doing it for my friend. I actually felt honored and a moving sense of purpose as I mashed my sweet potatoes for the casserole, started the bread maker, peeled some idaho potatoes etc…

I couldn’t help but think of how much God loves my friend and wants her to know it. And that I get to be a part of His pursuing love for her.

Some of our NieuCommunities friends as well a couple that just moved in behind our house joined us as well. We set a beautiful table outside (thanks to Janny’s creative genius). Then we got a phone call.

My friend called to tell me she wasn’t able to come because she wasn’t feeling well. She wanted me to come pick up the food she made and wanted us to enjoy it without her.

I have to be honest, I was frustrated. “Really?” I thought, “there were a lot simpler meals we could have made but we made thanksgiving dishes and we decorated…. ALL FOR YOU! And now you’re bailin’? Really? And how long have you been feeling sick? Could you have told us this any earlier? You could have saved us some time and energy…”

The food was delicious and we had a sweet afternoon nonetheless but I couldn’t help but be disappointed. Especially disappointed in myself for reacting internally with such frustration!

My friend struggles with a mental illness. She’s very isolated, recently had a stroke and struggles to make ends meet financially. There could have been a million reasons why she couldn’t come to dinner. Maybe she experiences anxiety around groups, maybe holidays evoke painful memories for her, maybe she has a pattern of canceling when things feel uncomfortable and she’s lived in isolation for so long that she doesn’t understand the ramification of her actions on others…. I don’t know. Or maybe she just simply got sick. The point is, I need to listen. And I need to remember that there is usually something much deeper going on than the visible circumstances.

I can see how people give up on loving those who are sometimes hard to love. Its easy to glamorize the poor or the oppressed or marginalized by thinking that loving them and caring for them will somehow be an easy way to utopia for our spirituality. But the glamor fades quickly when you’re really in the trenches, day in and day out. When its no longer a good deed you do at Christmas time but its a lifestyle. People are people and when you throw substance abuse, dysfunctional families, poverty, mental illness, homelessness etc…. in the mix, its messy and sad and hard.

Its also deeply fulfilling because you have to surrender to the love of Jesus in you and through you.

The love of Jesus goes deep and wide and far and long. Jesus goes deep into the darkest, loneliest of pits and meet us there…. and keeps meeting us there…. over and over and over…. And he invites us to know that love and to be faithful to show that love to others, not in our own strength but in the strength that he gives us as we follow him.

And when the glamor of loving and caring for me fades and I don’t show up to the table of love that Jesus prepares for me… he tells me I’m ok and he stays.

The glamor of befriending and loving an overlooked neighbor sure faded for me today. But I want to be like Jesus so I’ll stay. I’ll keep meeting her and loving her.

I’m so so grateful that Jesus stays with me.